all the cute things you've done.

-we exchanged music constantly
-we talked about our opinions openly
-the songs you sent me were always about love
-you made me feel stupid then apologized sincerely
-you kept my opinion in mind
-you honoured my opinions, my thoughts and my feelings
-you took time just for me
-you share things with me simply because you want me to see them
-things remind you of me
-you want to share your stories with me
-you explain your weird sense of humour so i don't feel stupid
-you comfort me by making things seem much less complicated than they are
-you make me laugh
-you send me the cutest emoticons
-you talk to me about my interests and try to share them
-you understand what i mean
-you buy me things
-you're concerned for me
-you want me to feel better
-you invited me to events that you share only with me
-you comfort and console me, even if sometimes its just a joke
-you want to have a party, just me and you
-you spoke in old english just to make me laugh
-apologize for not being sensitive when you had nothing to apologize for
-you made me think, especially before bed
-you apologize for making me think
-you apologize for your bad sense of timing
-telling me how to sleep like a baby
-giving me some very helpful, yet humourous, advice
-instructed me to go enjoy your childhood
-you share your thoughts and theories with me
et cetera

i loved every moment.
and now,
its gone.


even though i didnt like how you made yourself seem so much older.
you're only a year older, dude.
i hope you know i took all your advice to heart.
and tried to listen to it as much as possible.
i value your opinion so much.
and honestly, i miss you.
despite the fact that i probably felt we were closer than we were, i miss you.
despite the fact that you pissed me off and i never wanted to talk to you again, i miss you.
despite the fact that you were an outright asshole, i miss you.
i miss the old you.
the you that did all these things..
not the you that would leave me or tell me im behaving foolishly for being concerned.
not the you that would ignore me when i wished you a happy birthday.
not the you that i seem to keep talking to because i miss the old you.
if you talk to him, tell him i miss him.